PODCAST EPISODE #12
In this podcast, you will learn about the victim triangle and how much it runs our society. You will be asked to see how you take on those three hats: victim, bully and hero. Most importantly, you will learn a four step technique to STEP OUT of the victim triangle once and for all!
Hi, I'm Dr. Divi, host of the podcast "Ease into Clarity." I'm a family doctor turned yoga teacher turned intuitive coach. I've been coaching and using intuition for over 13 years. I help people with daily life problems using intuition and emotions in the mind. In this podcast, you will hear from me weekly, where I will share life tools, life skills, life techniques, and intuition to help you with your daily challenges. Everyone's got it.
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Dr. Divi 00:07
Hi, welcome to the podcast Ease Into Clarity on Dr. Divi Family Doctor Turn intuitive coach, and I'm here to help you. In this podcast, we will learn mental techniques, emotional techniques, and spiritual techniques to change daily problems. So maybe it's your husband, your boss or co-worker, or your kid, they're driving you crazy. You can email me any of your questions, and I will use all the techniques I've learned over the years and help you grab your hot chocolate and make sure to subscribe. We'll see you soon. Ciao.
Dr. Divi 00:46
Hi, I am back to the host a podcast ease into clarity. And thank you for joining me. Today we will be talking about the victim victimizer triangle, and how to step out of it. I have chosen this topic on purpose, because a lot of us realize and may not realize actually consciously, because so much of our society is based on this victim energy. If you're ever in doubt, turn on the TV watch the news at six o'clock.
Dr. Divi 01:14
What does this really mean? We have been taught by society, by our culture by media, that we're victims, things are going to work out for us.
Dr. Divi 01:26
I am not important, I don't matter and so on. And if you actually look at it, there's actually something called the victim triangle. The victim triangle is what runs the legal profession, runs the medical profession runs out to the majority of relationships, and a lot of society. That's hard to find a lot of parts of Science Society that are outside of it. Or they walk into the spiritual realm where they say you create your reality, you are the divine I am. And they seem totally differently. Let's first take a minute to talk about what the victim triangle is. And then we'll talk about how to step out. And if you know me, I like simple things. So I'll just give you really four simple steps. But we'll get there at the end. What the heck is the victim triangle. The victim triangle was psychological tool that was developed back in the 70s or 80s. I apologize, I should have looked that up earlier. But the victim triangle has three corners to it. One is the victim. The second was the bully. And the third one is the hero when I used to work as a doctor, and I would see patients all the time and even when I used to work as an intuitive coach and I would help clients regularly. People would often talk in terms of he did this to me, she did that to me. Nice to see medical patients like that all the time. And the hero was in the way of like the pill, maybe just coming to talk to me. The answer depressant, whatever. Sometimes the hero is a bottle of booze, drugs, whatever.
Dr. Divi 02:52
The thing about the veteran triangle is that you can change hats within it whenever you want. So at one minute, one minute in your relationship, you might be the victim. And the next minute you might be the victimizer and the next minute you might be the hero like you hop hats whenever you want. And the whole idea of how to break the victim triangle is to not see anybody as a victim and that's the key and we're gonna get into that just a quick minute the other thing to keep in mind with the victim triangle is the victim often becomes the victimizer WHAT THE HELL How is that defined the victim everything bad happened to me? Let me give you an example. Most of us remember the kk k they still exist. The kk k started because they really thought that black people were taking over the world. They are going to rate my women they're going to take over my jobs.
Dr. Divi 03:41
So when you think about it, the kk k actually started because they felt like victims to the black people. And then what happened they became the victimizers. If you look at history, that victim to victimizer patterns repeated over and over and over again. And I just want you to pause the video for a quick minute. And just think in your life. Where do you play the victim? I can tell you lots of places I play the victim. Where do you play the victimizer I'm guarantee you can find places. And where you play the hero. I know you can find places, we all do it. And the whole idea is to bring conscious awareness to it before I take you into how to break out. But it becomes a very deep subconscious pattern. And before I go into how to break it just quickly, the victim triangle has often started in our childhood and our you know, in our in our sibling relationships with our parents, whatever. And then as adults, we actually revisit the same patterns with partners.
Dr. Divi 04:37
We marry people, we have affairs with our kids, our bosses, and we end up in that similar triangle wearing the different hats to actually heal it. That's how the universe works. So it sparked in childhood, right? And then it kept continuing. I'll briefly give you an example for me and my own childhood. You may know my parents immigrated from India before I was born. So I was born in the late two 60s grew up in the 70s and 80s. And grew up in a smaller city near Detroit, called Windsor, Ontario. And there was a lot of racism, it was a very much a motor town, like, you know, Chrysler and so on was in there, very much a racist town and blue collar town. So in the 70s and early 80s, I expressed a lot of racism. So when you experience racism, you perceive a lot of victimhood. No one likes me, I'm, you know, I look different, my skin tones different, I can't change the color of my skin tone, they're not going to accept me that, you know, shut up there that I saw issues in my parents house, nothing terrible, but just you know, little bit of pain, little bit of that little bit of that, that creates victimhood. Another a good example from my childhood was, you know, in my childhood, we really didn't have that many options as to what we want to do. And that's not anyone's fault.
Dr. Divi 05:52
Classic immigrant parents, you know, they were afraid of what was going to happen in your country. And so, quote, unquote, they made us all become doctors. So I was very much a victim to that thinking I had to become a doctor out something bad would happen. That was such an ingrained belief in my head. If I didn't become a doctor, something bad was gonna happen. So again, victim, victim, victim into that done, nothing wrong, I'm just showing you. And what happens is, as you get older, you actually start to see it in others. When I worked with a doctor that for the first bunch of years, she saw my patients as victims, especially the ones that were depressed, they would tell me stories about their husbands and their wives and their kids. And I would be like, Oh, my God, if that child would only change, that wife would only change. And that's what I used to think that as you may know, I got sick myself. And I was only able to heal when I started to understand the emotional nature of my illness and the mental nature of my body. Because what victimhood does, and the victimizer and the hero is it creates pain in our body. A lot of my pain was from the victim energy, right? So let's talk about how to break and now that you kind of are seeing where in your story in your childhood comes from. And you can see that so many areas of our life, we relive it. And no one actually likes to think they're a victim, but until you call yourself on it. You know, we all have it. I think that's really important for us all to know, we all have it, we all have it, no one wants to think that they've got it.
Dr. Divi 07:12
No one, but it doesn't. You just have to look at a blog and you know, a rant online to see that so many people believe that it's that so many people. So let us just spend a few minutes talking about her breakup. And I can only teach you how to break out from a spiritual angle. So if you've ever read any spiritual work or listened to some of my previous podcasts, you may have heard me talk about the divine I am. This is the part of you. That is the eternal part of you. When you are there, and I am there we are one.When you are there, and that place of no thought, in the observer, you're on the consciousness of spirit. You're in the place of allowing, as Abraham Hicks calls it. You're in the divine Space of the Universe. That is a spiritual space from which we heal the victim energy.
Dr. Divi 08:12
So let's talk about four steps. And I'm going to take you through steps three and four in a bit more detail. Step one I've already spoken about. You just identify where in your life you've got a victim thought. I have to work so hard. This life is hard. My bank account isn't enough to see. Step two is optional. depending on you know, how well acquainted you are with your body.
Dr. Divi 08:36
Where into your body, do you hold that story? Maybe your shoulders, your back your stomach? Where do you hold that story? Step three, is to see or become aware that the divine doesn't see it that way. The Divine sees you as eternally capable, eternally possible. And infinitely powerful. Step three and four bit meditative. So if you're driving, you will pull over or do this later. So let's go on to mini meditation. On your next breath as you slow that breath down.
Dr. Divi 09:13
Calm your mind down and center just a little bit. Get present to your breath. Get present to the moment now. And see if you can step into the observer. The witness consciousness of this moment a part of you that can see you as step outside of your thoughts and just take a few breaths here. And as your breath slows down and your mind gets quieter. Start deeply to bring in that awareness of this energy called The divine infinite love. You may perceive it as peace. Your Divine support team, your guides and your angels. The universe of love, quantum field, whatever term works for you when you tune into this energy of unconditional love, let it in closer this is your infinite capacity. You imprint your quantum field with your thoughts. And those thoughts and beliefs you put into the quantum field is actually what you create.
Dr. Divi 10:50
That nobody knowing cerebrally even logically is impossible to be a victim. But as a child born into a little body with crazy parents and a crazy society, we take it on, quite normally. So step three is to bring in a consciousness of this divine support in the sky, this love. And you may feel it in your meditation right now. A sensation maybe tingles, or goosebumps. Or maybe a perceived different air pressure. Or maybe just a sense of calm and peace around you.
Dr. Divi 11:34
As you breathe. This last template left practice what we call forgiveness. It's in your mind's eye, go into the center of your heart. And find a place in your heart of stillness of peace,of the Divine I am. Of Love of essence of truth. Have yourself and just stay here with your breath. And imagine in this heart of yours, is an altar like what you would see at a church or a temple.And you walk over to that altar. And you place on the altar, this piece of paper that says all your victim stories.
Dr. Divi 12:33
Maybe just do one at a time. On that story, on that piece of paper. It's not that you're not capable. And put on the altar and simply say forgiveness sent me and everyone free. Forgiveness set me free from thinking I am less than given us, semi free free from the idea that I'm not capable or given us set me free because I know the truth. I am. I am. I am a child of God. I am a child of love. I am as you placed on the altar and repeat that forgiveness prayer a few times.
Dr. Divi 13:33
On the altar is an energy of beautiful light. That's your country transmute and heal. Whatever you've given. You've placed on the altar this idea that you're less than you receive back the idea that belief or thought you are a child of God. Your Grace, your love. You can say that in the affirmative. I am love I am Grace. I am the divine.
Dr. Divi 14:06
I am the empowerment of my truth. Take whatever statement resonates the most of you either from what I've said or what came to you alone and carried in your heart. The truth is in your heart. It's not in the story. You have released that story. And I can breathe into the depths of your being the depths that are being wisdom and the centeredness of your love. Take about 10 more breaths here. slow and deep belly breath you may see it feel a shift on awareness. A subtle shift or magnificent shift it doesn't really matter. might just be a little bit lighter at heart will acquire in the mind. And then again, I always encourage you to stay longer in the meditations that I give them, you will come back when you will. But this is a meditation that you still do once you do what whenever that thought comes in that you're less than because you are gifted, whatever, whatever your gift is to be on the planet. I encourage you to hold that to your heart, hold your truth, like somebody holds a tattoo on their body. I Am that I Am that I Am, I am I am. And that emanates from your body. And you receive that the physical manifestations. And that is how you heal the victimhood. And just breathe. stay here longer, if you will, letting in the love from spirit source universe. Taking this little grain of wisdom with you. Through your day today, tomorrow and every day. I'm sending you lots of love and feel free to drop me an email with any questions you might have. sending you lots of love.
Dr. Divi 16:27
thank you so much for joining me this podcast isn't clarity. It is such a joy, pleasure and honor to be in your living room. But I would love as if you follow me on Instagram, Dr. Di VI or go to my website, Dr. Di vi.com or write a review that would be even more amazing. Thank you. Do you really enjoyed this podcast, feel free to share it with friends family, tell to follow me. Because I think the more of us that listen to the fact that we each of us can start to shift each of us can shift mental things, emotional things spiritual shift, to shift our daily reality when more and more of us do it. We get a better planet, we get more love, we get more happiness, we get more joy. So I'd love it. If you fold. I'd love to if you if you share this because it would be such a joy and an honor. And again, if you have a question, guess what I'm here for you. Send me an email ease into [email protected]. And as they come in, I will answer them in podcasts that are subsequent whether it be your boss, your relationship, your husband, whatever. That's what I'm here for. Because the more of us that learn really simple mental techniques, really simple spiritual techniques. We change the physical reality we live in. Pretty soon we have more peace, more ease more joy trickling across the whole world. Remember, there's a spiritual solution for every problem. Thank you for joining me namaste